Dr. Terri Orbuch conducted a 20 years scientific research among 373 married couples, and shares her findings. What does a happy marriage consists of? What could men and women do to renew or reignite their marriage? In 2009, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great was published. Now, in 2015 an ebook version was issued. The message is still the same: powerful advices from the Love Doctor.
After a foreword by Pepper Schwartz, Ph. D., Terri kicks off, focusing on the positives to make good marriages great. She explains her 5 steps: 1. Expect less, get more. Frustration is the leading reason marriages are unhappy. Having realistic expectations and knowing you partner’s expectations keep frustration in check, and leads to marital happiness. 2. Give incentives and rewards. Frequent affective affirmation and support for your partner is key. Have daily briefings, not task-based or an overview of your agenda. True heart-to-heart communication on a personal level, day by day keeps the doctor away.3. Implement change. It’s not about changing your partner, which is bound to fail. Little changes to your behaviour, a little more patience, expression of love, etc. will be more effective. 5. Keep costs low, benefits high when it comes to difficult topics as dealing with jealousy, in-laws, dividing household chores, and fights.
5 Simple Steps… provide a framework for interdepency, honesty, respect, trust and safety in a marriage bound by love. Beyond the honeymoon weeks and declining sexual activity, there’s a lot that can make or break a happy couple. Quizzes, exercises, self-assessments and assignments to both readers and their partners provide resources for self-reflection and practice. Research-based tips, eye-openers, busted myths, statistics, and entertaining trivia about marriage and love are the add-on to this toolkit. Highly recommended.
About the author
In addition to her role as the project director of The Early Years of Marriage Project, Terri L. Orbuch, Ph.D., is research professor at the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan and a professor at Oakland University. She is well respected as a researcher and professor in the scientific world, and is also known by TV, radio, and online fans as The Love Doctor®, the country’s most trusted relationship expert.